


Birthdays, First Times, and Letters from Princeton

by deadlydecember1214



Series: The Moments of You and Me (Riarkle Snapshots) [4]
Category: Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Sex, College, F/M, First Time, High School, Riarkle, Sex Talk, hinting lucaya, mentions of the minkus', not graphic, past smarkle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-02 10:19:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10942476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlydecember1214/pseuds/deadlydecember1214
Summary: This isn't how Riley thought they would end. Then again, she never thought that they would. (Riarkle Future Snapshot) (Two Shot)





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, for this being the first sex-ish scene I’ve ever published, I am very proud of it… So, I hope you guys like it or at least understand that I did my best as a blushing, stuttering virgin :D

It was a week until Farkle’s birthday on April 1st and Riley was in a downright panic.

It wasn’t that she didn’t have a gift for him. 

She was his girlfriend, of course, she had a gift for him! 

She’d gone to Barnes & Nobles weeks ago and purchased both _Death by Black Hole_ and _The_ _Pluto Files_ by Neil deGrasse Tyson. She then proceeded to read both books herself, leaving notes and annotations throughout to lend a little bit of herself, of _them_ , to the copies.

So, no, that wasn’t it.

It was something…else.

It was _sex_.

And the fact that she and Farkle had yet to have it… All because of her. 

She’d just never done _anything_ with _anyone_! She’d gone farther with Farkle than she ever had with Lucas, for god sake! And Farkle had only seen her shirtless! With her bra still on! 

The genius hadn’t said anything about their slow pace; he never dared to pressure or push Riley but she had to imagine he was starting to wonder. They were teenagers, after all, who had admitted to being in love with each, who had been together five months, and still _nothing._

Not that Riley didn't want to, she did, _god she did_ , she just didn’t really know how to…go about it?

She obviously knew how sex worked practically, but reading about an act so intimate and performing it were completely different things! What if she made a fool out of herself? What if, well, what if she wasn’t… good?

Saturday night, with Maya dozing off beside her and steadily breathing into her hair, Riley finally worked up the courage to voice her fears. Reluctantly, she whispered up to the dark ceiling, “Maya?”

“Mmmm?” The blonde mumbled, snuggling closer.

“What was your first time like?”

There was a long silence before Maya muttered, “Ah, my first time…?”

Clearing her throat and fidgeting with her hands, Riley took a deep breath to gather her wits, “You know,” She pressed, lowering her voice, even more, to be just barely audible, “Having sex?”

Riley felt her best friend stiffen against her. 

Maybe she’d made an assumption that wasn’t true? Maybe Maya was as much a virgin as she was? But, Riley kind of knew that couldn’t be true… it was just the way Maya commented on the topic when they binged Netflix or watched movies; the blonde just knew things. Things she wouldn’t unless from she had personal experience.

“Oh,” The other girl finally piped up, now sounding wide awake, “That.”

She sprang up, switching on Riley’s lamp to narrow her pretty, blue eyes on the brunette, “Why do you want to know?”

The girl blushed furiously, her hands coming up to cover her cheeks, as she sat up as well. Riley squeaked out, “No reason!”

Maya thought for a moment before a look of realization crossed her features. Her lips twisted into a bemused smirk, “Farkle’s birthday is a week away.”

“So?”

“So, _your boyfriend’s_ birthday is a week away.” Maya continued, grinning wolfishly, “Riley Nebula Matthews! Are you thinking about having sex with Farkle?!”

Smacking a hand over her friend’s mouth, Riley’s eyes darted to her bedroom door, “Oh my god, Maya! Could you not scream something _like that_ , please!?”

Licking the other girl’s hand to gain freedom, Maya rolled her eyes and lowered her volume, “So, are you?”

“No!” Riley hissed before her eyes skirted away, “I don’t know!” She ran a hand down her face before biting her lip and slowly nodding, meeting Maya’s eyes once again, “Yes.”

“Wow, okay!” The blonde faltered, her joking mood dissipating as she realized the severity of the situation to Riley. This wasn’t something her friend would take as lightly as she had. Knowing Riley, it would actually be the exact opposite with the girl overthinking every possible detail and outcome. 

Nodding back seriously, Maya shrugged, “Well, what do you want to know?”

Riley relaxed slightly, giving Maya a look of relief. _Of course, Maya understood…_ “Does it really hurt?”

The blonde cocked her head to the side, “The truth?”

“Uh, yeah? I think?”

“A little bit, I guess,” The other girl recalled, looking off in the distance, “But I mean, he’s as inexperienced as you, right? And it usually goes a bit smoother if he knows that beforehand.” She added, giving the brunette a pointed look.

Riley gazed down at her lap, where she was picking at the stitching on her comforter, “We’ve talked about it,” She paused, shifting on the bed uncomfortably and frowning, “He’s not, by the way.”

“Not what?” Maya quirked an eyebrow.

Her friend gave her an exasperated expression, “Inexperienced, okay? Farkle isn’t a vir- He's not a virgin.”

“What!?” Maya’s eye widened. She hadn’t seen _that_ one coming, thinking about the little turtlenecked Farkle from middle school. Granted he hadn’t been that boy in a long time, but that’s who he still was in Maya’s heart. _He still needed to be protected…_

“He had sex with Smackle,” Riley explained with a look of distaste, “Sophomore year.”

“Interesting,” The blonde commented before shrugging, “Honestly, that’s probably a good thing. At least he knows what he’s doing so you might actually get a good time out of it.”

“Maya!” Riley gasped, blushing hard again.

“Riley!” Maya laughed, shaking her head.

The brunette slapped a hand over her face and groaned, “Okay, okay! So, _after_ the ‘hurting a little bit’ part… does it, you know, get better?”

The blonde laughed again, throwing her head back, “Jesus, Honey! That’s kind of the point!” Leveling her gaze with her best friend, Maya grinned and nodded, “Yeah, it gets better. Depending on _a lot_ of factors, it can get… _wow._ ”

“Wow?”

“Yeah, wow.” 

“But Maya, what if _I’m_ not ‘wow’?”

Rolling her eyes, Maya reached out and drew Riley’s hands into her own, “You and Farkle will be _beyond_ wow, Riles. Trust me. You love each other so how could you not be?”

Slowly, the brunette nodded, the corners of her mouth curling into a small, nervous smile.

* * *

The plans had been set a month ago when they had decided on the party.

Farkle’s parents were, of course, going to be out of town on their son’s seventeenth birthday. So, Riley, Maya, Lucas, Zay and Smackle had made plans to take advantage of Farkle’s after school internship to sneak up to the Minkus penthouse and decorate for a party. 

Farkle thought that everyone had simply wished him ‘happy birthday’ at school and that Riley _might_ be able to stop by, depending on her Topanga’s shift.

Riley was buzzing at the idea of surprising her boyfriend.

The doorman knew them all by now and was used to letting them all up without questions, so that part had been easy. The decorations had gone up and Maya and Riley had attempted to bake a cake, only to be thrown from the kitchen by Zay. He ended up baking the cake and, disapproving of the girls’ store bought selection, whipped up homemade icing as well.

Smackle helped with the banner, writing out a joke what she swore _Farkle would think was hilarious_. Lucas and Maya hit each other back in forth with balloons and then bantered in helium infected voices, dragging Riley into the fun before too long.

They were all so focused on having too much fun, they lost track of time and all froze upon hearing the distinct sound of the private elevator whirling up.

“Shit!” Riley hissed, shocking everyone, “Hide!”

They did… just not well. 

Farkle stopped upon taking a single step out of the elevator, looking around, “Uh, hey guys?”  


“SURPRISE!” Riley tossed the curtain she was hiding behind aside and flung herself at her boyfriend, who chuckled and caught her in his arms. “Do you like it?”

“Um, yeah!” The genius took in Smackle sitting on the floor by the half-finished banner, the flour covered Zay, and Maya and Lucas’ helium accents before looking down at Riley. 

Her big, brown eyes were filled with uncertainty and she worried at her lip. Ducking to press a kiss to her temple, Farkle turned to his friends, “Really, it’s great, guys. Thank you!”

They laughed and danced and played board games. Even Scrabble was brought out because it _was_ Farkle’s birthday, though Maya kept spelling out dirty words and making up rules. Riley proudly shocked everyone by winning Clue but then everyone gave up on Monopoly only about halfway through. Twister could have, admittedly, gone better… but the laughs were worth the one twisted ankle.

Farkle swore it was the best birthday he’d ever had. He didn't need his mother or father to make it okay when his friends, and most of all _Riley_ , had already made it perfect.

Slowly, the group settled down and started to filter out. Smackle had an essay to write over the weekend, Zay was worried about the swelling of his ankle (it wasn’t even _that_ swollen), and Lucas just wanted to get home to his Momma.

Soon it was just Maya, Riley, and him on the couch. It seemed appropriate. As much as they loved their full group of friends, there would always be something different and more powerful about the bond between the trio that the others didn't understand. 

Sandwiched between the two girls he loved the most, the three of them giggled and bantered while watching _Cosmos_ reruns.

As an episode ended, Maya sighed and jumped up. “Well, you dorks enjoy some alone time; I gotta split! Riles, am I still covering for you?”

Farkle looked down at his girlfriend curiously. She had rested her head on his shoulder halfway through the show but she sat up now and nodded to her friend. “Yeah, if you don’t mind?”

Maya waved her off, “Please, I’ve told bigger lies. Night guys and happy birthday, Farky.”

And then they were all alone.

“Babe, what did Maya mean she was covering for you?” Farkle leaned his head back against the couch cushion as Riley got up and made her way across the room. 

“Well,” Riley turned around before him, playing with her hands, “I told my parents that I was spending the night at her house.”

Looking up at her, his brow furrowed, “So? You’ve spent the night at Maya’s a million times before.”

“I have,” The girl nodded, swinging her arm down and turning, taking a few soft steps further across the room. She glanced over her shoulder, “But I’m not spending the night at Maya’s tonight.”

Sitting up, Farkle looked at her in confusion, “You’re not?”

“No, I’m not,” Riley answered matter-of-factly, turning to him and leaning back against the frame of the hallway to his bedroom. She bit her lip, looking down at her crinkled toes before bringing her eyes back up to him from under her long eyelashes, “I’m staying the night here. With you.”

She pointed over her shoulder, “Preferably in your bedroom. In you bed.”

The poor boy was frozen by her words, looking dumbfounded. “But-but I sleep there?”

Riley giggled, “Yeah you do, Love. I hope you don’t mind sharing with me?” 

She puckered her lips and slipped her old black military jacket from middle school off, letting it fall to the floor.

Jumping up to his feet, Farkle shook his head frantically. 

Smiling sinfully, his girlfriend slipped around the corner without a word. The boy stood there for a minute, trying to play the whole conversation of the last few minutes back. 

He wasn’t crazy, right? Riley was _definitely_ hinting at something here… Right?

_God, Farkle, just slow down. You cannot jump to conclusions here. You cannot screw this up. She probably just wants to snuggle, Riley does that all the time and you know it. Calm down!_

“Love? You coming?” Her angelic voice called from down the hall and suddenly his feet were moving without him telling them too. 

Riley was leaning against his desk when he reached his room. 

Between her jacket being on during the whole party and the ruffling fabric, Farkle hadn’t noticed just how closely the white dress she was in hugged every curve.

It also hung low, but not distastefully so, on her chest. The cheap Pluto mood necklace he'd won for her from some arcade machine hung down, rising and falling with each breath. 

His eyes wandered lower to the dress's hem, which just barely reached her mid-thigh. The fabric bunched slightly from her lower back leaning against the desk, making the dress come up dizzying to _just_ below her ass.

With her careful, open eyes boring into him, she played with the buckle of the tan, leather belt she’d paired with the dress. It was like she was... teasing him? 

His heart raced.

Slowly, as if testing the waters between them, she undid the belt and let that also drop to the floor. Just that tight, ruffled white dress remained and whatever was underneath…

_God, he really shouldn't think about that or he was definitely going to need a cold shower._ Swallowing hard, Farkle rubbed the back of his neck, “Do you, uh, wanna borrow someth-“

Riley sighed, a frown forming on her face as she cut him off, “How are you not getting this, Farkle?”

“G-get what?” He stuttered, praying to whatever god it was that Riley believed in that his less than appropriate thoughts weren't written across his face, “I was just tryin-”

“Farkle!” The girl exclaimed, throwing her hands up, "I want to have sex with you!” 

The teenage boy stopped thinking completely for a moment. His whole mind went blank as he marveled at his impatient girlfriend. _Riley fucking Matthews_ wanted to have sex with him, _Farkle Bassett Minkus?_

In his dreams... literally.

"Y-you do?" Farkle finally managed to ask, his eyes involuntarily wondering over the girl's body in a way that he rarely let himself. Thoughts, thoughts he never let his waking mind dwell on started to fill his brain and made him feel a little lightheaded.

She moved across the room until they stood almost toe-to-toe. She grew quiet, eyes dropping to his lips, “I do. Right here." She raised herself up on her cute, little tiptoes, brushing her lips teasingly against his as she whispered, "Right now."

There was a pause, a single unified beat of both their hearts, before Farkle collided with her, sweeping her off her feet and pressing her a little bit roughly, a little bit clumsily, into the wall.

Riley gasped in surprise, eagerly kissing him back and tangling her fingers in his hair, soft like down feathers. She bit down lightly on his lip, taking advantage of his moan to slip her tongue into his mouth.

He tasted like oxygen, mint toothpaste, and hypoallergenic, all natural, coconut chapstick. His scent, like rain-scented detergent and soap, was intoxicating and invaded every single one of her brain cells. Every inch of his skin that brushed against her’s sent tingly electric currents rocketing throughout her body. Her heart felt like a sledgehammer in her chest as she took in the perfect _Farkle_ -ness of it all _._

And still, she wanted _more._

Reaching down, Riley slipped her hands under his shirt, running her fingertips over his bare skin and making him shiver and lean into her touch. Like she had a gravitational pull. Like he couldn't help but be drawn right into her. The thought lit her on fire and turned every cell in her body into a live wire.

Farkle brought his hands up, cradling her face in his calloused palms and kissing her so hard it almost hurt. Neither minded. Farkle was desperate to remember everything detail, to commit every part of Riley Matthews to memory the way he had the electronic configurations of the periodic table. 

_Bubblegum._

Bubblegum, strawberries, and homemade icing, that was what she tasted like and his tongue had never tasted any flavor sweeter. 

_Sunflowers._

She smelled like sunflowers and Central park in the fall and something else that was just purely _Riley_ and could never be replicated.

Pulling away, breathless, Farkle ducked his head to find that spot on Riley's throat that always made her gasp his name. Satisfaction shot through his gut as he heard her do just that, tightening her grip in his hair.

At some point her legs had come up to wrap around his waist, making her skirt ride up, but he couldn’t recall when exactly that had happened. Or when his hands had found their way to her exposed thighs. He didn't really care.

Riley let her eyes fall back open and stared up at the planetarium as Farkle teasingly scraped his teeth over her pulse. _Jesus Christ_ , it felt like Farkle, his arms holding her up, his kiss searing her skin, was the only think keeping her grounded to the Earth, stopping her from floating away into the vastness of the galaxy.

"I love you," She sighed, eyes still on the stars. She did and she was pretty sure she always would. Loving Farkle Minkus was written into her DNA, as much a part of her as her smile or brown hair.

Farkle pulled away, his dazed gaze focusing on the masterpiece before him. Riley was looking positively sinful with disheveled curls, swollen lips, and rosy cheeks as she panted. 

"I love you, too." Tracing circles over the soft skin of her thighs with his thumb, he leaned in and pressed one burning kiss to her lips, "Always."

She couldn't take it anymore. He was so close and still not close enough and she was so hot but still craved more heat.

“Bed,” Riley whispered her tone as foreign and sexy as her darkened eyes. "Now."

“Could not agree more,” Farkle responded, shifting his hands down further to support her as they moved away from the wall and he walked to the edge of his bed, laying her back softly on the mattress. Instantly, he moved to kiss her again, this time making his way to the collarbone that always drove her wild.

Moaning, her back arched and she pressed against him. Frantically, she gripped his t-shirt and tugged it off, running her nails lightly, teasingly, down his bare back. Humming into her skin, Farkle decided to push her a little further and gently nibbled at her ear.

Whining slightly, Riley threaded her fingers back up and through the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him fully on top of her. Their legs tangled, one of his slotting between hers. His hand carefully moved up her leg, giving her time to stop him, before slipping under her skirt.

A hand pushed against his chest, making him break the kiss against her skin.

Riley stared up at him, her eyes filled with such love and lust and trust that it made it hard for him to breathe himself. Swallowing, she licked her lips before speaking, “ _Always._ Promise me.”

Riley Matthews had never doubted the love Farkle Minkus had for her. She knew it was true and deep and not like other teenage loves. There was something in her whisper, in her gaze, that made Farkle want to promise her anything in the galaxy she could ever want.

It was her heart, her soul.

She was baring both, offering every piece of both to _him_. 

Farkle didn't deserve her, would never deserve Riley, but that didn't stop him from selfishly holding on to her as long as possible. And _God_ , he loved her. There would never by any other girl, any other being, in the cosmos for him. Riley Matthews was his forever. She was his always. _Alway and always and always._

"I promise."

He leaned down to whisper it into her hair, to write it along the curve of her wrist with his lips, and across her cheekbones in butterfly kisses. He pushed the dress up her body until it slipped over her head, tossing it aside to later be found on his bedroom floor. 

Farkle kissed a trail to just over her belly button and grinned when Riley giggled. The girl arched her back without warning and tucking her hands behind her back, unclasping her bra and letting the straps fall from her shoulders.

He watched frozen, taking in the parts of this perfect human being that she’d reserved for him alone. Reanimating, Farkle kissed her and touched every bare inch of her to commit it all to memory so that maybe later he could draw a map in his head of all the places that made her shiver when he kissed them just right. 

Riley's hands found their way down to his belt and made easy work of undoing the damn thing. Keeping her lips pressed to his, she tugged impatiently at the jeans, sending all the message Farkle needed to discard that article of clothing as well.

Both of their hands shook as they finally bore all of themselves, physically and so much more than physically, to each other. They moved together in sync as they took everything in, both of them enthralled and a little scared of what was next.

Farkle leaned down and kissed Riley like his life depended on it like she was oxygen. He lost himself in her, drowning in lips like candy, the scent of Central Park in his nose, and the warmth of the sun that flowed through her veins.

Riley’s knuckles turned white as she gripped the sheets and bit her lip. Blood rushed throughout her body and a bit of pain. She tried to relax as Farkle whispered sweet nothings in her ear. Soon, though, the pain was scorched away by that burning fire, the one that alway ignited in her chest when she was with this boy who she loved more than life.

It was beautiful.

It was perfect.

It was so far beyond _wow_ that there weren’t even words.

And when it was over, Riley looked up at the stars scattered across the ceiling and ran her fingers through Farkle’s hair as he slept soundly still on top of her, his ear resting over her heart and his arms wrapped protectively around her waist. 

She reveled in the feel of his skin against her’s. How they just seemed to fit together, like they were made that way.

Smiling, she looked down at his peaceful face and pressed a kiss to his forehead before laying back and closing her own eyes, giving in to exhaustion.

* * *

Riding the subway home the next morning, Riley Matthews felt different.

She’d expected to. How could she not? But she thought that maybe she would have felt…less than before? They didn't call it 'losing' your virginity for nothing right? Wasn't it supposed to feel like something was... gone?

But that wasn’t at all how she felt. Not the Riley was complaining.

Instead, she felt this weightless, free feeling buzzing in her belly. The smile that she couldn’t wipe from her face was starting to make her cheeks sore and earn her weird looks but she didn't care.

Dancing up the stairs to her family’s apartment, she even felt good enough to grab the mail from the post box as she passed. As she eased her key into the lock of the front door, her heart skipped upon noticing the unmistakable coat of arms of Princeton University. 

Smile dropping, she pushed into the apartment, dumping the rest of the mail on the coffee table as she passed.

"Sweetie! You're home!"

"How was Maya's?" 

Riley ignored her parents’ greetings from the kitchen. With shaking hands, she tore the letter open and frantically unfolded the piece of paper within.

_Dear Ms. Matthews,_

_We were honored to evaluate your academic and personal record for admission to our Ivy League university. That being said, Princeton University can only accept so many elite students into each incoming class. We regret to inform you that you have not met our requirements and are therefore not accepted to Princeton University._

_We wish you the best of luck in your academic pursuits,_

_Janet Lavin Rapelye_

_Princeton University Dean of Admissions_

And just like that, the world ended.

“Riley? Sweetie, you’ve been staring at that paper for the last ten minutes? You okay?” Topanga asked, coming up behind her daughter to peek over her shoulder.

Riley stepped away from her mother’s touch, whirling around with teary eyes, “It’s my Princeton letter,” She swallowed, trying in vain to thwart the closing of her throat, “I-I didn’t get in.”

Topanga looked back at Cory, who deflated at his daughter’s words, “Oh, Riles-“

“I think I’m going to go lay down,” Riley blurted out, nodded numbly, “I’m, uh, really tired so…”

Slamming her bedroom door, the girl slipped down the wood and pressed a hand over her mouth to quiet her whimpers. 

She _had_ to go to Princeton because _Farkle_ was going to Princeton. She studied for weeks, months, to retake her SATs and ACT. She’d worked _so hard_ , tried so hard, for them, so that they could have a future together.

And now that _wasn’t_ going to happen because she _wasn’t_ going to Princeton.

An hour later, as she lay in bed, her phone buzzed.

**From My Love: Okay, I know I’m probably being completely ridiculous but I already need to see you. Please tell me you aren’t busy!**

Riley sighed, reading and rereading Farkle’s easy, happy words. _He_ didn’t know his girlfriend, the girl he’d just shared _so much_ of himself with, was a failure. She hadn’t even told him she was applying to the school of his dreams. She, ironically, hadn't wanted to worry him because she loved him and she never wanted to hurt him.

**To My Love: Can’t. Not feeling good.**

She never wanted to hurt him… but what if it was the best thing for him?

* * *

 

 

Farkle came by on Sunday.

Riley pleaded with her mother to just _tell him she was sick,_ just _get him to go away_.

Maya, who’d slipped into the bay window a few hours early, narrowed her eyes at her best friend but didn’t push… not yet anyway.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she had anyway. Riley had already made up her mind.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farkle Minkus gets dumped by the love of his life two days after the first time they’d ever been so close. A month passes and finally, he can’t take it anymore, he needs to know why. Riley owes him why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a break-up/make-up fic guys. I’ve already established that in this universe, these two go one to get engaged and have a baby on the way. BTW check out those snapshots, ‘Summer Plans’, ‘Little Drunk, Lotta Careless’, and ‘Just Go To Sleep, Riles’.

Monday rolled around inevitably, like the dread in the pit of Riley’s stomach.

She was at her locker when he found her. She’d pulled her hair into a simple ponytail that trailed down her spine, adorning a white t-shirt, black leggings, and a loose gray jacket. Farkle thought she looked absolutely beautiful until he noticed that her attire was missing something.

Riley wasn’t smiling.

“Hey,” He greeted, uneasily rocking on his conversed feet with his hand shoved into his pockets, “How, um, are you feeling?”

God, what was wrong with him? This is _Riley!_ So, why did it feel like she was miles away when he knew he could just reach out and touch her?

She collected her books and shut her locker, “Better, I guess.”

“That’s,” Farkle rubbed the back of his neck. “Good.”

Riley nodded, leaning her shoulder against the metal of lockers and shifting her books in front of her, almost like a shield.

“So, I know you’re avoiding me,” Farkle stated, matter-of-factly.

Maybe he had hoped she’d roll her eyes and give him a smile, that she’d reach up and lightly pat his cheeks and tell him, _Love, not everything is about you. Sometimes people don’t feel good._ Maybe he had hoped she’d at least deny it. 

Instead, she just moved her gaze from one shoe to the other. 

Nodding, he sighed, “Well, this is just wonderful...” 

Farkle still didn't understand. If Riley was ignoring him, and now he knew she was, the timing would indicate it was because... well, because they'd had sex.

God, did she regret it? Wish she could take it back?

He didn't think so, though, because Riley had seemed to... enjoy herself as much as he did. In fact, Farkle _knew_ she had, recalling sweat, giggles, and gasped names from just days ago. Shaking his head, he fiddling with his hands nervously, “Look, if this is about _that night_ than we can tal-“

“I think we should break up.”

Farkle stopped breathing, stopped moving, stopped _everything_. 

He’d heard wrong. She’d said something else, literally anything else. Because she- She couldn’t have said- It just wasn’t possible. He knew life could be cruel, that the world could kick you down and make you feel small, like a nothing.

But it couldn’t _that_ cruel. It could _not_ just… take Riley from him, not now, not when he'd just gotten to know every piece of her, not ever. They were always, it didn’t make sense. _He loved her._

_He'd promised. Always._

Coming crashing back to reality, Farkle jerked back as if she'd struck him. Looking at her like she was a complete stranger to him, this girl he knew better then he knew anything, he barely managed to choke out, “W-what?”

Riley’s eyes filled up tears and she looked up at the ceiling, blinking furiously. Clearing her throat, she shook her head, “I just think it would be best for us both,” She shrugged, biting her cheek, “I _love_ you, Farkle, but-“

“Wait, wait, wait,” He pleaded, throwing his hands up, “Just stop there, okay? Please, Riley, ju-just stop there. You love me and I love you, so just stop there, okay? Because, _always_ , remember?”

Her face crumpled at the slight waver in his voice and she brought a hand up to cover her mouth, shaking her head.

Farkle stared at her, true horror and panic setting into his system like an infection, like a fever. Swallowing hard with tears in his eyes, he reached out and took her other hand, desperately trying again, “I can fix this, Riles. I can make it right!” 

She dropped her hand and opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off.

“Whatever I did, Riley, I’m sorry, okay? I’m _so_ sorry! I’ll-“ His voice cracked and he cursed before continuing with teary eyes, “I’ll be better, I’ll do better. I'll keep my promises and I'll listen, whatever you want!”

The girl’s eyes trailed down to their hands, fingers intertwined, such a perfect fit it could have only been crafted in the heavens. 

Farkle, noticing her gaze, tightened his grip like maybe, just maybe, if he held on tight enough, she’d stay. 

“Babe,” _His name for her, the name that only felt right coming from his lips._ Her eyes darted to meet his, to that electric blue that spoke to her heart and touched her soul, “I know I don't even deserve to ask," He begged in a broken whisper, “But _please._ "

_Please don’t do this. Please stop._

_Please._

_Just._

_Stay._

His pleading eyes said it all as they took each other in, tears clouding both of their visions. Riley took a shaky breath and a step forward. 

Farkle’s heart skipped a beat as she slowly pushed up onto her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, resting her forehead against the crook of his neck for a moment.

But then she stepped back.

She shook her head. 

She pulled her hand from his grip.

And then Riley Matthews walked away from him, taking his heart, freshly ripped from his chest, with her.

* * *

 

Somehow, Farkle made it to class.

Taking his usual seat, right beside her, just close enough to catch her scent from the breeze sweeping in from the cracked window, he numbly stared down at his textbook. The scent brought all the memories flooding back, washing over him like a suffocating riptide, pulling him under and further and further from shore as he struggled against it.

Brushing again her shoulder as he sat beside her in the bay window, talking for hours about anything and everything cross-legged on the floor of her bedroom, laughing at her cheesy jokes because they were so damn adorable, pecking her lips anytime he felt like it because he could, knowing her favorite colors, animals, and lyrics, believing in her and her drive to change people, being as close to her as he could ever be to another person, feeling like they were written in the stars, like they were Pluto and Mars.

And none of it, _not a single moment or memory_ , mattered now.

Farkle’s eyes clamped closed as he felt the telltale burn of tears. He gripped his pencil until it hurt and wondered how the wood didn’t snap.

He could hear a sniffle from her direction, could feel his chest twist painfully but couldn’t bring himself to look over.

Just feeling her presence made him feel like he might spiral into a panic attack, looking at her wasn’t something he could bare. He just couldn’t do it.

He loved her.

She loved him.

They were going to be always.

_So, what the hell had happened?_

 

* * *

“So, _Farkle and Riley_ are just…done?” Maya asked, leaning down over her friend as he attempted to read the chemistry book before him. 

Farkle sighed, “Ask Ri-“ He choked and cleared his throat, “Ask her. She’s the one who ended it.”

It had been a month. He didn’t feel any better.

“Trust me, I did! But she won’t say anything! Just that ‘it’s for the best’” Maya used air quotes before rolling her eyes, “Whatever the hell that means…”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Maya.” He said, tiredly, pinching his nose.

The blonde looked at him, sadly, before sighing, “It just doesn’t make sense! _A fucking week_ before she broke up with you, she was asking me about-“ Maya stopped, considered, pressed on, “Well, even before that, she was all excited about finding the perfect dress for Prom, something _you’d like_ , her words!”

_He would have liked her in anything…_

Farkle shrugged, “Obviously, she changed her mind.” 

“About you? No way, not just on a whim. I refuse to accept that and you shouldn’t either!” Maya snapped, grasping his collar over the table and tugging him forward. “Dammit, Minkus, where’s your fight? Your girlfriend dumped you for no reason and you’re just gonna take that?! You’re not even going to demand answers from Riley?”

Farkle cringed involuntarily at the name and shoved Maya’s hand away. 

“What would be the point?!” He snapped, glaring at the blonde girl. “ _Why_ won’t bring her back if she doesn’t want to be with me, Maya! And she clearly doesn’t! I can’t make her!”

The girl gave him a skeptical look, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest, “Farkle, I know you still miss her."

Now, there was an understatement... 

Life with Riley was like living in technicolor. Everything was vibrant and captivating and made you really believe in silly things like _fate_ and _destiny_. In her absence, the color had bled out, turning into varying shades of gray. The colors hadn't faded; they had just gone.

Kind of like she had.

Narrowing his eyes, Farkle bent his head back over his textbook, “Because how I feel matters _so much_ , right?”

Maya paused, considering again, “Fine. I know she still misses you, too.”

Farkle doubted it.

* * *

 

Farkle sat in the library long after Maya had given up on him, staring down at the words before him and wondering what Riley Matthews was doing.

He knew he shouldn't, shouldn't think about her, shouldn't care anymore, should be over it by now. That's how normal high school romances went, right? They were fast and when they ended the world did too, but only for a day or so, and then it was supposed to be like nothing had ever happened. 

He was supposed to move on from Riley, move past her.

But Riley wasn't just some high school romance of his, she was _Riley._

She was the girl who'd fought so hard not to laugh at his name like everyone else did, the girl who'd ridden alongside him as his father taught him how to ride a bike and the first person to reach him when he fell off. She was the girl who had kissed his scraped knee because at the time she swore she was going to be a princess doctor someday and the one who had always and would always love him just the way he was, freak or nothing or whatever.

Was there even a life for him past her? Because whatever bleak existence he'd been going through the motions of since Riley had walked away from him in that hallway was _not_ a life. It was a joke.

...He wished it was a joke.

She had said she loved him... so why crush him, run him over with a Mack truck, split him like an atom so that everything left was radioactive and infective to everyone remaining in the devastation zone? Why make him promise her 'always' when she was just going to change her mind?

A shadow fell over Farkle's textbook and he figured it had to be Maya or Lucas coming to find him, to 'hang out' but he knew it was really to make sure he didn't do anything stupid while alone.

He was surprised to look up and find Riley Matthews instead.

Farkle wished that she didn't effect him anymore. He had hoped that after a month, seeing her wouldn't send his heart into his throat or make his chest ache. He'd been counting on no longer finding her chocolate eyes as warm as cocoa.

But it was Riley, so of course, all those things were still true.

Riley spoke, quietly and hesitantly, to the boy staring at her, wide-eyed, "Maya said that, um, that you had something you wanted to ask me."

Farkle was still in shock over his ex-girlfriend/ex-best friend's presence, so close that he could have reached out and touched her. He almost did... before remembering that that was no longer okay. Riley's space was her own again now, not his.

"Farkle?"

His name on her lips was like a twist to the knife she'd plunged into his chest a month ago. At least the pain snapped him back to life, his eyes instantly darting away from her face, "I don't know what Maya was talking about."

"Oh."

Riley stood next the table, shifting uncomfortably as she glanced around, "Well if you need anything, I'm always-"

They both flinch involuntarily and her voice died in her throat. Sighing in a way that Farkle would almost say was wistful, Riley started to turn away. She was going to walk away from him _again_.

He couldn't just watch her leave. Not again.

"Why?"

The brunette turned back with a furrowed brow, remaining silent.

Once he'd finally asked, Farkle found himself desperate to get her answer. She made him promise and then forced him the break that promise days later. They’d been friends practically their whole lives, surely he deserved to know _why_.

“I just need to know why.” He pleaded, hesitating at seeing Riley’s face fall but persisting anyway, “I’m not trying to make this harder or hurt you but I think you owe me at least that. Because I keep going over everything, keep going over _that night_ , and I can’t figure out what changed for you. I can’t figure out how I managed to fuck us, _Riley and Farkle and always,_ up.”

Her eyes sparkled with tears as they filled with sadness, wearing and tragic. He wanted to get up and wrap his arms around her, shelter her precious, kind heart from the pain she was carrying as if she were Atlas trying to hold up the sky. 

But Farkle reminded himself once again that that would _not be okay_. Riley and he were now separate entities again. That was apparently how she wanted it. He clenched his fist because _he would do anything she asked, even now._

Riley opened her mouth, voice unsteady as she shook her head and refused to meet his eyes, “You didn’t. I told you, it’s just what’s best for the both of us.”

“Bullshit!” Farkle snapped, unable to stop himself. 

He hadn’t believed her when she said it a month ago and he didn’t believe her now. 

There was _no scenario, no situation_ , where either of them was better off without the other. Even before he’d realized he was in love with her, she’d always been his best friend, the first person he wanted to talk to when something great happened or even something terrible. She was _Riley Matthews_ and he was _Farkle Minkus_. They fit together at every ripped edge.

“Farkle-“

“If you’re going to lie to my face, Riley, you can go. _I_ thought we didn’t lie to each other.” He interrupted in a grumble, slumping back over his book. 

He had known it was pointless to ask, he had told Maya, but now he had asked and it just made everything worse. Farkle really didn’t want to hurt Riley, but God, she’d cut so deep herself and had taken so much that he just spoke without thinking… He probably did that too often.

Farkle heard a strangled sob and closed his eyes, not daring to look up at her. 

Riley crying was like kryptonite to him… and he didn’t want to feel bad just yet. He already felt shitty enough without piling guilt on top.

After a moment, her choked voice arose from somewhere to his left as he still refused to look at her anymore, “I’m not lying! I could never do that to you! Not after…”

Riley tried to clear her throat and Farkle wondered if she meant after ‘they had dated’ or ‘they had sex’ or maybe even after ‘everything they’d been through’. It didn’t really matter, he knew that, but the curiosity still burned in his chest, trying to pinpoint the moment his world had ended.

“Farkle, do you not see that this is _killing me_? Are you blind to how much _I miss you_?” Riley suddenly fired the passion and raw emotion in her voice enough to draw his full attention despite his best efforts. “But I am _not_ the girl you want to compromise your future for, okay? I can’t be because I refuse to be the one that stops you from doing all the _great things_ that you are meant to do! _Can’t you just understand that_?”

By the end, she was practically begging, her voice nearly hysterical as she pleaded for his understanding. 

Farkle was so confused and so tired and he _missed her, too._ Slowly he stood, stepping towards her, close enough that he could track the tears as they spilled down her cheeks and smell the same sunflower perfume that had clung to his pillow for a week after their night together.

“So, why?”

Riley stared into Farkle’s eye for a long moment before sneezing her’s shut like he was a bad dream that she was desperate to wake up from. “I applied to Princeton.”

His stomach flipped, recalling every conversation, every time, that they had mentioned his ‘dream’ university. How obsessed Riley had become with some picture perfect happily ever after where they both attended and earned their degrees and went on to share their independent successes… She had been dead set on it.

“They rejected me.”

Farkle almost laughed at the cruel irony. She’d broken up with him so he’d go to Princeton… He’d never told her that he’d already made up his mind about that months ago, after the first time he told her that he was in love with her.

He remained silent, trying to run through her words again, decipher some other meaning than the obvious. Shaking his head, he sighed brokenly, “Riley, I turned them down. I’m applying to Columbia next fall.”

The girl’s big brown eye flew open, “What!? But- but Princeton is-“

“The dream?” Farkle completed before shrugging and shoving his hands in his pockets, “Maybe my father’s but…” He glanced away, “I had my own dreams.”

Still confused, the brunette took a step forward. Now, the pair was barely separated, so close Riley had to tilt her head up and Farkle his down to look each other in the eye. “Like Columbia?”

“Like you.” He mumbled, truthfully, for just her to hear. His electric blue eyes were trained on the stone tilting of the library floor and his ears grew pink.

Riley froze, heart pounding in her eyes. 

Farkle had chosen her, long before she’d even thought to choose him. He was always so far ahead of her, so she should have expected it. She was _his dream_. And he loved her, she knew he did, probably more than anyone else…

And she’d crushed him, taken his love and his trust and thrown it in his face. Yet, he still wanted to plan his future around staying in New York, staying close to her.

Riley launched herself at the boy, kissing him hard and clumsily. It didn’t matter that it was messy, imperfect, and a little awkward though because the second their lips connected it was like taking the first breath of fresh air in a month. 

It was like coming back to life, an explosion of color and light and _something so special_ that they both knew they’d never find it with another.

Farkle pulled her in, hands pressing against her back until there was no space between them and they could feel each other’s racing pulses through the fabric of their clothes. The kiss was heartbreak and love, fractured but with the potential to heal.

Pulling away, Riley continued to cling to Farkle as his arm remained wrapped around her. Their noses brushed as the opened their eye, gazes locking. There was fear and uncertainty in her wide, open eyes like she was unsure of what his reaction would be and what was to come next. 

Farkle tilted his chin up and pressed his lips against her temple, murmuring, “ _Please._ ”

Riley relaxed in his grip, leaning into his lips and warmth, before slowly nodding and looking up to meet his eyes again, “Yes. I realized I’m always going to be in love you, no matter where you are. Columbia or Princeton or fucking Mars, it doesn’t matter. I know that now."

Moving one hand up to thread into her slick, soft hair, Farkle buried his face in the crown of her head, squeezing his own eyes shut as he nodded to echo her. “I’m always going to be in love with you, too, Riley Matthews. I promised you always, remember?”

“I remember.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER! Hope you enjoyed, let me know if you did :)

**Author's Note:**

> Uh-oh, that don’t sound too good…


End file.
